I was sitting at Kovalam Beach in Kerala, looking at the ‘red’ setting sun. I had a troubled heart that day. I was feeling very low. But was not able to figure out why I was feeling so low. Generally, I used to enjoy the sunset, but that day, something was bothering me too much. Didn’t know, what it was.
I walked to my hostel room with heavy heart. I wanted to just cuddle myself in bed and close my eyes. But my friends were waiting in my room for me. We had to rehearse for a play which we were supposed to present as part of our college festival. I got busy with my friends, but found very difficult to concentrate. We rehearsed for three hours and then asked my friends to continue with the practice, and I just took solace in my bed. I was having tremendous pain in my heart, as if, something was going away from me.
The night seemed to be longer. Somehow I fell asleep. In my dream, there was the person in front of me, whom I loved most on this earth – my Papa. Oh God, I was wondering, what happened to him? His body was covered in bandage. He walked towards me, sat on my bed beside me. He had lot of pain in his eyes. He kept his hand on my head. I could feel his warmth of love and affection. He hugged me tight and kissed me on my forehead and whispered in my ears: “Pokatte Mole. Take care” (May I go daughter, Take care). I asked: “Where are you going Papa”. He just hugged me more tightly and kissed once again and said: “I love you a lot, don’t want to go, but have to go.” I held his hands tightly so as to stop him from going. But in vain, he had to go.
Telephone rang in my room. My eyes opened. It was my mumma’s call from a different part of the country, miles apart. My Papa had gone to a different world, victim of a fire accident.
My eyes were dry. I could not cry at all. I just didn’t want to believe the news. But it was true. I was amazed at the love of Papa, who couldn’t go without giving me good bye kiss. I felt, as if, my world was over. I had no idea, how to bid good bye to Papa.
Today after 23 years, I am again sitting at Kovalam beach looking at the sunrise. Papa is still there around me. He ensures that I get up after every fall in my life, he ensures that I face every challenge of life efficiently. I don’t worry about anything now, since I trust and believe that he is sitting up there close to god and protecting me. I still feel the warmth of the last kiss of you Papa on my forehead. I love you Papa, you taught me not to get disheartened with the losses, but face life boldly, since the darkest hour of the night is just before the dawn.
This post was written for Indispire at www.indiblogger.in for the topic – “The darkest hour of the night is just before the dawn.”