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What a beautiful theme for ‘WOW’ post today. A great catchline with so much of depth to it. Most of the time, we as human beings feel very powerless in our lives. Whereas, in true sense, we have tremendous power within. Those who realize the power of self can do wonders in life. Gautam Buddha has aptly conveyed it: ‘Whatever we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thought, made up of our thought’. If today, we feel powerless, it is because, we have thought to be powerless.
This WOW prompt has taken me back into memory lane. Our parents bring us up in such a wonderful positive comforting environment that self-doubt takes a back seat. But a real transition happens, when we move from this secure and protective shell to be on our own. I remember, my formative twelve years with parents were so wonderful, got to explore every interest, be it sports, dance, music, studies. But then had to move to boarding school for better education facilities. The lack of competency in English as well as regional language brought lot of shift in me: from a gregarious personality to an introvert, a confident person to a diffident person. A series of incidents happened which reaffirmed my negative self-perception. These complexities clubbed with the complexities of growing teenage years, resulted in so much of chaos inside. I had completely stopped feeling powerful from within. Years went by (almost 8 years), but my feeling of self-doubt, not having a sense of self-worth, inferiority complexes etc. dominated me.
I had a very strange nature. I always felt so diffident to speak to people around me. My all talkings used to happen via the extracurricular activities in which used to participate. I used to feel, why people would be interested to talk to me. Day by day, I was getting into my shell and becoming withdrawn. I used to feel so lonely and vulnerable inside. That is when, one of my professors cum hostel warden called me for chit-chat. During interactions, she said a very profound statement: “You are a very good person, but tell me, how would the external world know that you are good, unless and until you open up and give an opportunity to the external world to understand you.” She gave me a task that every day I must atleast make an attempt to speak to two –three people who might be standing in the corridor and interacting. It was actually very tough task for me, but I started doing that, and slowly, I started developing good bonds with people. She literally tried to bring my gregarious self out.
She wanted me to attend a religious discourse. I very reluctantly attended. A speaker asked the group – “Are you sinners”. We all said –‘No’. But he emphasized and said – “Most of you are sinners”, and further elaborated –“If you don’t love yourself, that is also a sin”.
These two incidents gave me a big insight. All those years, I was actually sinning since I had stopped loving myself, I always looked down upon myself and had developed thoughts / feelings like: Why should someone listen to me, since I don’t strike an interesting conversation, I am not at all physically attractive, so how could one even like my presence etc.
I slowly started making shifts in my thought patterns and feelings and started making a few friends as well. George Bernard Shaw’s statement is so apt : “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” This actually happened in my case. People who come across various walks of our lives become so instrumental in igniting the fire, zeal within us.
I started loving myself, loving things in and around us. I started asking me the very purpose of my life. Thoughts, feelings, actions evolved. Life changed for the better. Today, I believe in this, which one of my dear friend told me one day: “There are two days, which are important in one’s life – the day, when one is born and another, when he / she realizes, why he / she is born.” I have zeroed-in the purpose of my life.
I do feel the power inside. Turbulence happen, but then the power within helps to face the turbulence and make it just a passing phase.
Transformations happen, when we realize the power which we have, since ‘Inspiration is Within’. I am again back to my gregarious natural self, very much a people-person. Today, professionally, being a Life Coach requires me to interact with people everyday and be a change catalyst for them. I am trying to give back, what I received and experienced within. I want to continue this journey forever, inspired from within and making difference to people’s lives. Thank you all who have become the reasons of my transformation and evoked the need in me to create myself.