Sunday, May 10, 2015

Share The Load

Rahul and Raji always made an ideal couple. So, the friends and family were shocked when Raji announced her decision to divorce Rahul. Their 3.5 years of marriage was coming to an end. The World was not able to understand, what actually went wrong between them. People gossiped on the basis of their own assumptions. Rahul fueled to the gossip by posing to be helpless and denying his consent for the divorce. Raji chose to keep quiet.

Being a close friend of Raji, one day, when I sat with her, she broke down and confessed that she was really emotionally troubled due to the negativities spread in and around her due to gossips. But what was Raji’s story? Are you interested to know?

Raji entered into matrimonial alliance with just one simple hope, of making it successful. Raji accepted the fact that Rahul was a different person, rather diametrically opposite to her. Raji being an entrepreneur had a hectic work life, but this never became an obstacle in her fulfilling her domestic responsibilities.

But Rahul was from a different space altogether. He had a detached attitude towards life. Forget about sharing the load, he did not even bother to sit and share some time with Raji. Raji told me, that how Rahul used to keep to himself completely. On reaching home after work, he would never even try to pick a glass of water for himself, rather would expect Raji to do that. Raji might be suffering from fever or anything, he would not even try to ask her how she was, forget about taking care of Raji. There were two doors in Raji’s house, in case, Rahul reached early, Rahul would enter the house from the back door, but would never keep the front door unlocked for Raji to come. This was there even when Raji travelled out of station for her work. And on her return, Raji had to keep the baggage aside, unlock the door first  and then enter the house. Raji said, she felt so very unwelcomed and unwanted in her own house. Raji still remembers, how, once when she secretly paid Rahul’s credit card bills so as to surprise him, but ended up getting lot of abuses in return. The list like this goes endless.  

Raji said, she was still ok with Rahul’s all these habits of not sharing the load at home, but she kept on asking herself, couldn’t Rahul atleast sit with her to spend some quality time with her.

Ultimately Raji took the toughest decision of her life of parting ways with Rahul. She was questioned about her decision, but she was very clear. Her heart and mind said the same thing. For the world, Raji’s decision was absolutely wrong. But Raji told me one simple thing: “The world wants to know, how I felt abused by Rahul; how to let the world know that emotional abuses don’t leave any physical scar but it leaves a deep scar on heart”. Yes, emotional abuses are equally painful, rather more painful than physical abuses. Raji decided to part ways with Rahul since he neither bothered to share the load at household things nor bothered to share his life with Raji.

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I don’t deny the fact that as Raji has her own version of story, Rahul also would be having his own version of story. But one fact is without denial that situations would have been definitely different, if Rahul could have taken efforts to atleast be part of Raji’s life. Gone are the days, when a man used to be the bread-winner of the family, and a woman used to be just a housewife and take care of the house. Today, females are equally contributing towards corporate boardroom as well as homes. And so only, it is very important for the husband and wife to share the load (#ShareTheLoad), household chores, finance etc. Life would definitely be very beautiful with being part of one another’s life in every sense- be it physically, emotionally, financially… Afterall, families’ bond grow only stronger and stronger with the sharing.

It is not important that how much time, one spends with each other, but it is very important that how much quality time a couple gives to one another. I really resonate with Ariel and believe that equality within the household leads to better quality time with each other and results in success for the household. Indeed, marriage is all about partnership and sharing the load would make this partnership stay intact for the lifetime.

“I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at in association with Ariel.”